Monday, March 03, 2003  

COW Theory Of Government

Democrat You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for
being successful. You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows,
forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted
for then take the tax money, buy a cow, and give it to your neighbor. You
feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

Socialist You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your
neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

Republican You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

Communist You have two cows. The goovernment seizes both and provides you
with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

Capitalism - American Style You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and
build a herd of cows.

Democracy - American Style You have two cows. The government taxes you to
the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who
has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

Bureaucracy - American Style You have two cows. The government takes them
both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the
milk down the drain.

American Corporation - You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to
yourself, and do an IPO on the second one. You force the two cows to
produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You
spin an announcement to the analysts stating that you have downsized and are
reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.

French Corporation -You have two cows. You go on strike because you want
three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.

Japanese Corporation - You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of
their class at cow school.

German Corporation - You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all
blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred
miles per hour. Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per
year.

Italian Corporation - You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
When ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is
good.

Russian Corporation - You have two cows. You count them and learn you have
five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have
42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting
cows and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your tenth 5-year plan in
the last three months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows
you really have.

Florida Corporation - You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes
for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best vote
for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys
from out of state tell you which is the best looking one.

New York Corporation - You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose
which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from
Arkansas.

haha kute. got that email fm mah cousin... ;D

"oo yea. i talked to tiffany hsiau's sister... *motions wif hand* jabber jabber jabber jabber.."
- Rendell

LOL das aawesumm! lol yeaup. welll toDAY we had to practice in the RAAINN ... we all gonna get sick -_- nd our o so encouraging "coach" goes to me nd velma "what seat are u girls in?? 1st nd 2nd singles?? im pretty sure yall LOST ur last game. SO GET BUSY" OMG that... that.. UGH that THING... asgl;gjaors;gjasn tjv;ghjsal;gj... everybody fwbubagahd. -sigh-
uh huh... sooo... niki was super tired nd not happy... but im okish now... cuz.. EVERWOOD IS ON TONITEE!!!!!! *_* omg. that new zelda commercial stinks. "nd all to save.... me" .. OOO DIE ZELDA. lol she sucks.
listening to "all the things she sed" ... tiffy has recently informed me that this is a song for lezbos... *deletes* .. ooo lifestyles of rich nd famous. kekeke

guesss wutt??? niki ACTUALLY got organizedish nd making thingys for community work for njhs. haha i juss used "for" TWICE in a sentence. keke okk... soo.. anyone wanna go help out at the spca? help clean doggie poo nd i'll scoop it in a bag. haha i duno if ima do that yet tho. need approval nd all this other crap. yea...

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   | | theSniki | 3:53 PM | |